On August 25, 2013, I took a giant leap of faith and announced my pregnancy to the world here. I knew that it was something I had to do. Not only would word get out eventually, (um, heLLO baby!) but I very, very clearly felt that God wanted to use not only my story, but the way that I shared my story to reach people.
So I mustered my courage, took a deep breath, & finished up my blog series on grace with word of little Malachi's life.
The response was more than I could have imagined. The love, encouragement, & support that I received (with a naysayer or two along the way) literally brought me to my knees. Not only did God use my testimony to reach others, but He was reaching me through their loving words.
People struggling with sexual sin reached out. Women that had walked the road of being a single mama reached out. Girls that had just found out they were also unexpectedly pregnant reached out. People struggling with self-righteousness & pride reached out.
And God used each of them to sow love, hope, & faith deeper & deeper into my soul. He used them over & over again to teach me about grace. To teach me that because He loves us so, so much more than we could ever understand, He does not give us what we deserve. He gives us what we need. He gives us that which will bring us closer into His arms. Sometimes He uses our good & righteous decisions to bring us those things, & sometimes He uses our sin. How humbling is that?
I needed Malachi.
I needed Malachi to humble me. To teach me about the true meaning of grace. To help me understand the Gospel in a fuller, more rich way. I have learned so much because of him in the time since I knew I was going to be a mother. I can only imagine how much he will continue to teach me in the years to come.
But I want to leave you with a challenge. If I had a dollar for every time someone commended me on my bravery & transparency & honesty, I could probably pay my way through graduate school. (Or at least go on a nice vacation!) But the only thing that allowed me to share my story so openly is that I know that I am HIS daughter.
He LOVES me. Like, a lot. And if the Almighty Creator of the universe loves me & calls me HIS OWN-- His own redeemed, chosen, beautiful, adopted, restored daughter-- why would I care what anyone else thinks? Why would I be ashamed of the story of His grace in my life when I have NO condemnation under Jesus? So I decided to trust Him fully-- not only with my life & my story, but Malachi's as well-- & choose to be genuinely honest about the road we are walking.
Maybe He is asking you to do the same. Maybe there are people all around you who would be encouraged by the truth of your struggle & the story of His victories in your life. You will never know until you start speaking about all He has done for you.
So I mustered my courage, took a deep breath, & finished up my blog series on grace with word of little Malachi's life.
The response was more than I could have imagined. The love, encouragement, & support that I received (with a naysayer or two along the way) literally brought me to my knees. Not only did God use my testimony to reach others, but He was reaching me through their loving words.
People struggling with sexual sin reached out. Women that had walked the road of being a single mama reached out. Girls that had just found out they were also unexpectedly pregnant reached out. People struggling with self-righteousness & pride reached out.
And God used each of them to sow love, hope, & faith deeper & deeper into my soul. He used them over & over again to teach me about grace. To teach me that because He loves us so, so much more than we could ever understand, He does not give us what we deserve. He gives us what we need. He gives us that which will bring us closer into His arms. Sometimes He uses our good & righteous decisions to bring us those things, & sometimes He uses our sin. How humbling is that?
I needed Malachi.
I needed Malachi to humble me. To teach me about the true meaning of grace. To help me understand the Gospel in a fuller, more rich way. I have learned so much because of him in the time since I knew I was going to be a mother. I can only imagine how much he will continue to teach me in the years to come.
But I want to leave you with a challenge. If I had a dollar for every time someone commended me on my bravery & transparency & honesty, I could probably pay my way through graduate school. (Or at least go on a nice vacation!) But the only thing that allowed me to share my story so openly is that I know that I am HIS daughter.
He LOVES me. Like, a lot. And if the Almighty Creator of the universe loves me & calls me HIS OWN-- His own redeemed, chosen, beautiful, adopted, restored daughter-- why would I care what anyone else thinks? Why would I be ashamed of the story of His grace in my life when I have NO condemnation under Jesus? So I decided to trust Him fully-- not only with my life & my story, but Malachi's as well-- & choose to be genuinely honest about the road we are walking.
Maybe He is asking you to do the same. Maybe there are people all around you who would be encouraged by the truth of your struggle & the story of His victories in your life. You will never know until you start speaking about all He has done for you.
